Seeking Love As A Single Mom
Nothing is too hard for God.
About 4 out of every 10 babies are born to unwed mothers. I won’t go into the statistics of the children birthed from those relationships – it can be on the depressing side. I’m glad our God is a supernatural God! Our God defies all statistics and can do all things. Nothing is too hard for him! With Him being glorified and raised, I want to share a few insights into the lives of single parents – single mothers in particular.
Single mothers face specific issues that impact their ability to develop and maintain relationships.
Adding to the complexity of their lives is the fact that every single mother came to be where she is for different reasons; some had children out of marriage, others were separated, divorced or widowed. Some have a good support network; others are very alone. Whatever the situation, I want to share some of the specific challenges single mothers face so they might read this and be comforted, and so others may know how to touch the lives of our sisters who are deeply in need.
The term “single mother” is somewhat of an oxymoron.
The single mother is not single, for she is completely and utterly committed to raising her child or children for the next 2 decades of her life. They are the ones to whom she will answer. She is spiritually and emotionally called to her children; most of her heart, mind, and finances will be poured into the children to whom she is desperately trying to give the world. The single mother is indeed, not single.
God, in His wisdom, designed families to have a mother and a father.
Families work together in a beautiful synergy that is the byproduct of the husband and the wife’s relationship. When one goes missing, the functioning of the family is retarded, and the “family” goes spiraling downwards like a plane that has lost a wing. Despite what worldly pop culture may shout and belligerently insist upon, the truth is no family can be truly complete without a mother and a father. God intended the single mother to have a partner for this chapter in her life; for provision, companionship, fun, adventures, experiences, and for helping mold the little souls they are taking care of. The single mother is missing half of what she needs to function properly. The vacuum of this emptiness echoes loudly in every single parent’s heart, and there is not a moment that goes by that the absence of this person is not felt. The single mother is not single, but her family is not complete.
The single mother is walking on water.
She is functioning in a situation in which even when she provides 100% of her best efforts, they’re still only 50% of what is actually needed. Living in a deficit situation like this can be extremely draining physically, emotionally and spiritually. Single mothers, you are walking on water. The situation you are in is impossible to do alone. To stay healthy, refreshed and in a good frame of mind, you must keep your fellowship with Jesus Christ strong. You need to feel His supporting hand every day. You need to know that He is pleased with you, He approves of you, He understands you, and He will provide for you. When you are able to lean all of your personality on Jesus Christ for all of your needs, you are truly an overcomer.
The single mother is a sheep among wolves.
Because of the unique forces pressing on her, the single mother can be vulnerable to certain kinds of attack by the enemy. Many single mothers are caretakers by nature, which can be a magnet for the wrong types of people. They’re not used to asking for help or reaching out for what they need because they’ve become accustomed to being self-reliant. When you add the variables together, you can almost see the attack of the enemy coming. Sometimes people will attach themselves to your life because they’re drawn to the strength in your personality, but they end up only draining you further. The single mother is vulnerable to this type of spiritual attack. The Holy Spirit will show you which people to pull back from in your life.
A single mother is not single, yet her family is not complete. The single mother is walking on water, yet she is a sheep among wolves. Seeking after love itself is of little benefit. Of course, one should be open to love and not completely closed off. How intimidating is a person who appears that they need no one! Seeking after Jesus Christ and His purposes in your life will lead you to love.
If you are planted in His church, working side-by-side with sisters and brothers and Christ, allowing your children to experience the body of Christ, then you are on the right track. God will bring that person right to you through your network of friends. If you serve Christ and patiently wait, one day it will just happen. Actively chasing after love itself will only lead to frustration and exhaust your already taxed reserves of energy. Trust in God! He will restore your soul and the years that the locust has eaten! It will not happen when you think it should, and it may be someone you might not expect, but it will be really special and someone handpicked for you by Almighty God.
The moment when a single mother turns to Jesus Christ, she finds every single thing she is missing. She finds supernatural grace, acceptance, love, power, and understanding from the only One who could possibly understand. Single mothers face unique challenges and as a result, face unique challenges in their relationships. It is up to the body of Christ to reach out to single mothers, wrap arms of love around them, be vessels of God’s goodness to them, and be blessings on their journey. Although the statistics can be grim, we know that God’s promises are true and He holds the single mother securely in His capable, loving hands. And nothing is too hard for Him.